Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror. Sigmund Freud

I always looked up to my parents for approval when I was growing up. I started off in a deficit from day one. I was born the third daughter. After giving birth to two daughters, my parents naturally wanted to change it up a bit and get the boy. Well, instead I was born. I have spent my entire life trying to make up for it. I tried my best to be the good daughter. I ran for my Dad’s slippers when he came home from work. I fetched his water when he was thirsty. I got up early in the morning to go to work with him whenever I had a day off from school. I was the pleaser. I was the one who wanted to make everyone feel better when they were sad. All of these years later, I have finally come to the conclusion that everyone is responsible for their own happiness. I can’t make it for them. I continued this behavior as I had my own children. I wanted to shield them from any disappointment that might come their way. In doing so, I took away their independence and their chance to make their own decisions, their own mistakes, and ultimately their own successes. While I tried to be the perfect daughter and mother, I ended up being a great big flop. How does this fit in with my weight loss blog you may ask? I’m not sure yet, but suffice it to say, I am a work in progress and trying my best to understand myself and what makes me overeat.

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