Saturday, March 12, 2011

"Daddy's Girl"

Oh short memory! I am back to the blame game. Maybe my weight gain isn't my fault after all. It seems that the fat gene is in my family. My father's side of the family leans toward the hefty side. My sister sent me an old picture of me sitting on my Dad's tummy. I looked very content. I idolized my father growing up and maybe, just maybe I have an unconscious desire to be just like him. Hmmm....pineapple upside down cake sounds really good right now.

Friday, March 11, 2011

"Life doesn't get any better than this!"

This blog has been a real downer so far. Complaint after complaint about how fat I am, why I am fat and descriptions of futile attempts to try and get thin.  What a joke. I am fat because I am lazy and self indulgent. It hit me last night when I went to an art show featuring the art of my adorable nephew, Tommy.  He has the talent and perseverance to not only create his intricate drawings, but he also has the ability to enjoy every moment of every day.  I need to learn to be more like him. Last night as he sat in his wheelchair, surrounded by family and friends, he was surprised by his beautiful sister, Angelica. She had just flown in from Barnard College in New York. The biggest smile came to his face as he said, "Life doesn't get any better than this."

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Grey Skies

As dark and dreary as a rainy day seems, one thing is certain - blue skies will come again.  Perhaps it is in our darkest hour that our wisest thoughts emerge.  Love, light and positive energy equals power.  May the power of goodness direct the choices of food on Patti's Plate.  And may that same power bless all who read my blog today.  Amen.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines's Day

New Year. New Beginning. Fresh start to an old problem. It's time to get back to Patti's Plate. Today I spent the first Valentine's Day alone in 30 years. My husband was traveling for business and I passed on three kind dinner offers from family. Instead, I decided to romance myself. I made steak, broccoli, and a delicious tomato and onion salad. I stayed within my WW points and enjoyed every bite. It is time to show a little self love. I am worth it.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Big Buns

I've let a few days pass since I have pondered my psychological issues regarding my eating. There is definitely a connection regarding my mental state and my choice of food.  When I am feeling tired, depressed and anxious I crave........everything. Everything except fruits and vegetables. Why? However, when I am feeling confident and energetic I make the right choices.  This is supposed to be a chronicle of my weight loss journey.  So far I've stayed about the same  weight since I started this blog 3 years ago.  I've lost, gained, lost again and unfortunately, as of late, I've gained again.  But at least I haven't lost all hope.  My original idea was to photograph my meals so it would be an easy way to track and journal the food I eat while losing weight. Instead, here I am proudly displaying my fresh baked hamburger buns. I need to get my priorities in order and figure out which buns I want to be proud of. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror. Sigmund Freud

I always looked up to my parents for approval when I was growing up. I started off in a deficit from day one. I was born the third daughter. After giving birth to two daughters, my parents naturally wanted to change it up a bit and get the boy. Well, instead I was born. I have spent my entire life trying to make up for it. I tried my best to be the good daughter. I ran for my Dad’s slippers when he came home from work. I fetched his water when he was thirsty. I got up early in the morning to go to work with him whenever I had a day off from school. I was the pleaser. I was the one who wanted to make everyone feel better when they were sad. All of these years later, I have finally come to the conclusion that everyone is responsible for their own happiness. I can’t make it for them. I continued this behavior as I had my own children. I wanted to shield them from any disappointment that might come their way. In doing so, I took away their independence and their chance to make their own decisions, their own mistakes, and ultimately their own successes. While I tried to be the perfect daughter and mother, I ended up being a great big flop. How does this fit in with my weight loss blog you may ask? I’m not sure yet, but suffice it to say, I am a work in progress and trying my best to understand myself and what makes me overeat.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

June Cleaver

June was always thin. She had a smile on her face, pretty little dress, high heels and pearls. Sure, once in a while she got upset with the Beaver, but Ward always knew how to diffuse the situation. The difference between June Cleaver and me? Besides about 60 pounds, she knew her place. She knew that her role in life was to please her husband, take care of her kids, and put meals on the table with a smile. Now that might sound demeaning to the modern woman, but really….is it? She was taking care of her family and by golly; she did a darned good job!

I feel so guilty that I don’t have a job any more. I try to make sure that everything I do is pleasing to my husband who has to work. So, that means if his favorite food is spaghetti with meat sauce, I should make it as often as I can. I do that and watch the pounds pile on me. What is wrong with this picture? Blogging is great because it forces one to journal and put their fattening reasons on paper. June was a satisfied woman with no expectations beyond an apron. What am I looking for????